nerves, butterflies and what forges iron

In the end, on the night before the broadcast, I am just another guy on the eve of an event.  There are differences, of course, between this and getting ready for battle or for a sporting event or a theatrical performance, but they all have their similarities too.  One of them is being on the verge of something you don't know what it will mean in your life, because you can't know how it will come out.
          In between trying to sew up last details, I think about what is the "this" and what is the "life" in the question of what will this mean to my life?  These days, I am happy in my life, and that helps me along.  And in the background are the people this show is for, which is to say my family, my country and especially its poor.  They are not in the foreground, because just like a soldier or an athlete or an actor, one has to keep ones mind on the task ahead and on maintaining the mental ability to engage it.  But at the same time and at the risk of sounding insufferably sappy, I think that, amidst all the mysteries of the cosmos, love is still the best explanation for a lot of what we do if not all of why we're here..
          As to why, when love is everywhere, there should be such suffering in the world, well, being up late at night may fill you with questions, but it doesn't make you wise.